Anal Volcano

We have eruption!

My pilonidal cyst finally burst. Thank goodness. I was just on the verge of going to the emergency room--the pain was moving beyond what I could handle. My thoughts were cloudy, my breathing was shallow, I couldn't stop trembling, and the pain was just overwhelming.

When I mentioned that I have only sought medical treatment twice for my cysts, that was true...but I've come really, really close just about every time. It seems like just when the pressure and pain reaches its absolute worst and I feel like I can't possibly live another moment longer, just when I begin to doubt myself and think that maybe I do need to go to the hospital after all, just when I'm making a list in my head of what items I need to grab before asking someone to take me to the hospital, that's when the cyst finally bursts. Like once when I had waited a week in complete agony until I broke down and called my mother--she came over waited while I took a quick shower since I hadn't really moved all week...while I was in the shower, I heard a splat and felt relief and saw that the cyst had ruptured with such force that it covered the shower wall behind me. My mom heard me gasp and came to the door, but then started gagging at the smell. I sent her home. No hospital needed.

So I was at my breaking point again this time, leaning forward on the couch and looking around the room to decide what I needed to shove into my purse before I asked my girlfriend to drive me to the ER, when I suddenly felt relief, my head cleared, and I felt warm, sticky, wet grossness spreading across the back of my pants.

I gasped, jumped up from the couch, and fled the room. My girlfriend instantly knew what was happening and I could hear her cheering as I slammed the bathroom door behind me. I turned on the water and jumped in the shower fully dressed, knowing that the cyst fluids were already seeping through every layer of my outfit. The smell was overpowering, even before I undressed. It smelled like blood, pus, infection...super super gross. And once I started peeling off layers and more pus gushed out, the smell grew. As bad as it smelled, though, I knew that it was the putrid smell of relief.

As usual, I pushed and squeezed (gently) until I couldn't get any more out. After washing everything, I was left with an inflamed but essentially empty pus pocket and the raw, broken skin from which the fluid had burst. And as usual, I sprayed it with Bactine, taped on a bandage, and returned to my girlfriend where I promptly fell asleep to make up for the past several sleepless nights.

As I said, this is the same cycle that happens every time. It gets more and more painful until I don't think I can live through one more second, and then it explodes and grosses me out and it's fine. It will continue to seep a yellow liquid and some blood for a few days, and if I'm not careful it may swell up again, but now that the skin is broken it will burst more easily for the next month or so. Thank goodness. I was so close to going to the hospital, and that's the main thing I wanted to avoid. Oh, that and not getting the septic bacteria into my blood stream. That's important.

This is just one of those other awful 'fat girl things' that I suspect more people experience than admitted. This is also something I really hope just 'goes away' as I lose more weight. I've only known one small person with a pilonidal cyst. Maybe I'll just magically stop having them? I don't know. All I know is that I'm so thankful I'm not in pain right now, and I'm so grossed out by this oozing sore on my butt crack. At least I survived this one again, and it again gave me perspective: my heart surgery incision pain is basically nonexistent now, especially in comparison!