Double Booked

I just checked my calendar for tomorrow and realized I'm not going to make it to my Weight Watchers meeting. Boo! I may have to sneak out of my other meeting to weight in. As for getting my Simply Filling questions answered, I think I'll dig through some member posts. I hate reading through posts. Seriously, I can start out looking for one topic and then it's like the Wikipedia Syndrome: see another interesting link/topic/whatever and then get sucked into the abyss for an hour. Same with YouTube. I started watching one video while I was home sick yesterday, and ended up two hours later watching Russian newscast outtakes (no, I don't speak Russian).

I really want to weigh in tomorrow so I'll have a more accurate assessment of what the steroids are doing to me (besides supposedly helping with my bronchitis). Our bathroom scale is, like, 15 pounds off. After my Wednesday meetings I usually come home and try to recalibrate it so it at least shows close to what I had weighed that day...but I don't think it works. Right now, the 'zero' is at 12 pounds. Stupid. And I have no idea if the doctor's scale yesterday was off or not. I've never gone to a meeting other than my Weight Watchers At Work meetings, so I'd feel super awkward going to a different place.

Looks like I'll have to wait until next Wednesday to see my 'roid damage!

 

I know I should just invest in a new scale but a) I don't want to get into the habit of compulsively checking my weight five times a day, which I know would happen because it's happened before, and b) I'd like to be able to walk in to the store and buy whatever scale I want, but many of them only go up to 250 pounds. That still feels really far away (okay, it IS still really far away), and I don't want to explain to my girlfriend that I can't get a certain scale because it can't accommodate someone my size. I like to believe she has no idea I'm over 250 pounds, let alone was so recently over 300 pounds. Is that something other people can tell? I'm terrible at guessing other people's weight, and terrible at comparing my body to others'. Now I just assume I'm about twice the size of everyone else in the room, which is probably pretty accurate.

It seems funny that I'm so bad at visually weighing people, or comparing their bodies to mine, when I've been doing it for so long. I distinctly remember standing in line in the hallway as a kindergartner, and watching a chubby first grader at the drinking fountain. I was trying to figure out if I was as big as her, or how much bigger she was than me, and if other people saw me the same way that I saw her. Do all kids think about that shit? That's terrible. Geez. Or do just girls think about it? Maybe just girls with younger, thinner sisters. First born girls with a competitive zeal and major insecurities. Maybe just me? I hate to think of kindergartners today sizing themselves up...but I imagine that a lot has changed in the quarter of a century since I was a kindergartner, and I bet it's even worse now. Man, that's a depressing thought.

Almost as depressing as being sick for a full week, and realizing I'm possibly going to miss my weigh in tomorrow! Oh well...I had an awesome dinner of low-fat homemade tiropita, Greek potatoes, and some mini apple pies for dessert (just a single sheet of phyllo dough, which I'd counted with my tiropita, cut into tiny squares, tucked into mini muffin tins, filled with applesauce, topped with stevia and cinnamon, spritzed with spray butter, and baked...SO GOOD). And I finally have some good cough suppressant. Time to watch Miracle on 34th Street and get excited to start my Simply Filling week tomorrow!